I will quit your job for you

Do you work for a terrible boss? Are you fed up with how you’re treated at work? Are you too intimidated to tell them off yourself? I would love nothing more than to quit your job for you! Remember: people don’t quit jobs. they quit bosses. Let me make that uncomfortable call to your boss or HR department! I will offer them my sincerest condolences regarding their loss.

*Note: I will not verbally harass your boss (even if they really deserve it). Imagine something more like, “Due to your managerial incompetence and poverty-level wages, (your name) has decided to explore other opportunities. Please accept this call as their official resignation, effective immediately.” Not, “F*** you!” I would be happy to work with you to come up with the best way to communicate F.U. with a little bit of *class*! .)